Sweaty Latex Smells Sweetly Sour

OMG YOU GUYS IT IS ALMOST HALLOWEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!! My favorite holiday of all the holidays - mostly because dressing as a giant lab bunny (white fur, bright red eyes) is seriously frowned upon in April.

That said - we have Pumpkin Spice and COSTUMES so the season is upon us! What's the best part about Halloween? Every year it's open season on showcasing as much of your irresistibly sexy self as possible in startling range of taste. Your milage may vary.

One thing I know for sure - if there's dancing involved and I'm wearing a bra or bustier, there will be a loooottt of moisture in the house and sadly (for me), I tend to be a moist cupcake so I've soaked through the front of more than one dress after treating fellow party enthusiasts to my sweet, sweet dance moves. It's a sadness.

One time I chose to get my entire bodice wet to disguise the color of the sweaty fabric at my bust line. Dress went from being blush to more of a camel color which is always a bit corpse-y on me. Sadly it was not a Halloween party.

That said - what could make costume and special occasion dressing more of a home run? MORE LATEX AND HIGHER HEELS, OBVIOUSLY!

No, actually - not more latex. Did you see Beyonce's 2016 Met Gala dress - the sweaty tube of peach sauce she squeegied herself into? That thing was no bueno - talk about a miscalculation. Same goes for her eye makeup that night.

JUSSAYIN - From renaissance maidens to latex nuns, ladies need some boob sweat solutions and by this time next year Swoobie will be DA NUMBA ONE for your sweaty boobies.